Today has been a hard day as well. Since Avi woke us up early this morning we have noticed things we've never noticed before. Were they always there, are the new or are they just a sign of things to come? We're trying to saty active, but my stomach is tied in knots and I question everything I'm doing. I never know if I'm doing the right thing or not. I still have way too much time to sit and question everything I do. As for Avi, he's happy today and is so affectionate. I don't know if its just a coincidence or if its in response to our emotional strain, but he has been very cuddly and free with his kisses. We've been trying all day to do the things we were told to do. All that constant work on top of a long sleepless night means were exhausted. I think it wore Avi out too. He fell asleep a little earlier today than normal and he fell asleep without a fight. The last two days have been full of calls and visits o family and firends. We've said so much that there's nothing left to say, but it feels like we haven't said anything! My heart still hurts and feels like treaching out through the darkness and the space to someone, to anyone that can help me. I am surprised to find myself open to ideas that I had previously thought incredible. I am willing to do things on the off chance that it will help even in some small measure.

This morning we went to a child pyschologist who told us our son, Avshalom, falls on the Austism Spectrum. This was difficult news for sure. He said he believes it is very mild but on the spectrum nonetheless. It was a morning we will never forget. Of course at this point we have a million questions and no answers. We left the office not sure what to think. Could this be true? What hav we missed and for how long? What can we do for our little Avi? At this point a lot of tears have been shed and a lot of cuddling has happened. Through tears and prayers we look to the future wondering what it holds. We have appointment with a specialist who will tell us more. Of course its more than a month away; leaving us to worry, to wonder and to wait. The hardest part is not knowing what to think or do. We have been given a list of "resources" to help guide us through this time in "limbo," but its hard to read when you feel like action is nessecary. I feel like its a battle, me against this great unknown called Autism. I have many fears and concerns, but most of all I have hope. Autism may have taken hold on him but I hope we can take back Avi.