Today has been a hard day as well. Since Avi woke us up early this morning we have noticed things we've never noticed before. Were they always there, are the new or are they just a sign of things to come? We're trying to saty active, but my stomach is tied in knots and I question everything I'm doing. I never know if I'm doing the right thing or not. I still have way too much time to sit and question everything I do. As for Avi, he's happy today and is so affectionate. I don't know if its just a coincidence or if its in response to our emotional strain, but he has been very cuddly and free with his kisses. We've been trying all day to do the things we were told to do. All that constant work on top of a long sleepless night means were exhausted. I think it wore Avi out too. He fell asleep a little earlier today than normal and he fell asleep without a fight. The last two days have been full of calls and visits o family and firends. We've said so much that there's nothing left to say, but it feels like we haven't said anything! My heart still hurts and feels like treaching out through the darkness and the space to someone, to anyone that can help me. I am surprised to find myself open to ideas that I had previously thought incredible. I am willing to do things on the off chance that it will help even in some small measure.