On the Future

It has been blissfully slow here at work. That leaves me with time to sit and think. Of course there is a lot to think about, my wife's being sick, her pregnancy, our unborn son, our planned trip to Disneyland. Inevitably I think about taking back Avi, about how to help him and what his future holds. Debbie and I were talking about what he'll be able to do and what he might not be able to do. Thinking about it tonight I decided something. There is nothing, absolutely nothing that he can not do. He can do anything he wants to do. He was born only 2 pounds 14 oz. His body was too small and immature to breathe, yet only a few hours later there he was breathing doing just that, fighting from the first. He was too small to eat but before anyone expected his feeding tube was removed. There was more fight in his tiny little body than in most men. Before anyone expected he was home and his fight continued. He learned to hold his head up, sit up, turn over, crawl, walk, feed himself and now to communicate despite every challenge. His fight continues and I believe he will continue to defy all the odds and challenges that face him. He is a brave boy, advancing and fighting against something he doesn't even understand yet. While I was talking to a friend, she mentioned her brother, who has autism didn't know it. He asked his mother and she told him. I hope Avi will not know, that when he learns it will be only a diagnosis, not an excuse. His is a strength greater than most and I hope he does not lose that. I know I'm a proud father, one of those obnoxious men who thinks their kid is the cutest and smartest no matter what, but it's true; Avi is amazing. I feel very lucky to have a little boy like him.

Brace yourselves, in September I'm going to by twice as obnoxious! When our son Itai is born I'll have two little boys to brag about, dote upon and love.

This week has given us a lot of hope for Avi. He's doing so well. Two days ago Debbie told me he wanted to go to outside but she wasn't feeling up to it. He walked away, put his shoes on (all by himself for the very first time), turned off the TV, waved goodbye and went to the door. She couldn't say no after that. :) Yesterday was Avi's playgroup. He absolutely loved it. It was his second trip and his teacher said that he really came out of his shell. He was running around looking at the other kids and laughing as hard as he could. When we played with a parachute he laughed and laughed and kept signing "again" or "more." Then when we sang the songs to say goodbye he really got into them. We've been singing them since and he loves it.

A few days ago two of the neighbor kids had a birthday party. Avi and I went to it. It was a pool party and I was worried that Avi wouldn't like it, I was wrong. He couldn't have had more fun. He ran from the pool to the slip and slide and back doing his best to keep up with the other children. He didn't want to leave but after two and a half hours was exhausted. When I picked him up and carried him away he was shivering slightly and whining, pointing to the pool, but he knew he was too tired and cold to put up a fight. He ate his lunch and fell asleep for hours.

Day by day

So eventually the days stop dragging on, stop moving slowly and painfully and start returning to normal. It took probably a week for me to get my appetite back and to feel like like would be "normal" again. There were some really bad days and a few nights at work, but things are gradually improve. We went to Las Vegas to a doctor of "integrated medicine." While we were there we noticed Avi really started to pick up on sign language. Now he's up to more than thirty signs and its hard to keep up with all the new signs he's picking up. He's a very different boy now. He's communicating so much more. I think the ability to communicate really helps him be less frustrated. We've really noticed a change in Avi over the last few weeks. I'm not sure what has made the difference, but I'm glad to see it. I was definitely a skeptic about homeopathic medicine and still didn't know if any of his changes can be attributed to his homeopathic remedies, but something is definitely different.

Its been so amazing to see him learn so much and be so happy about it. He's still doing his speech therapy and he's in a structured play group. He had a occupational therapist evaluate him, but I don't think the therapist is coming back. He didn't seem to think Avi needed his help, we'll see. We're going to a different homeopathic doctor just to see what he says. Avi still has an appointment in July for the specialist and we'll probably seek a second opinion. Poor little guy, he's had nothing but doctors his whole life. I thought when he turned two, started growing and had escaped being premature unscathed. I thought we were done with the doctors, the clinics and the special programs.

One of Avi's favorite signs is "baby." When Itai is born in a few months I hope that he'll still like babies. I really hope that we'll still be able to give him the attention he needs while giving Itai the attention he needs.